Thursday, 26 February 2015

Brits 2015, or the trials of someone with working ears and eyes

I don't think I've ever met anyone who's cared about the Brit Awards. I believe the one time I've watched it was to see Prince last year, and he was off the stage in 3 seconds, after that I quickly changed the channel.
The Brits are perhaps the palest of all music award ceremonies, the Grammys may be insulted a lot by everyone, but the Brits are like their spoilt little brother who thinks he can compete with the big kids. All the Brits ever does is bring Britain, and its music scene, down.
The past year has not been a good year for British music, there is no doubt about that in my head. The best artists to emerge have all almost exclusively been American, a lot of the British artists who have emerged have been somewhat popular on certain levels since 2013, so you can barely credit them as 'emerging artists'.
In my opinion the best 'newish' British artists of 2014/15 were Ruen Brothers, Catfish & The Bottlemen (Although they're a little too unadventurous), Darlia, Jungle, HoneyBlood, George Ezra (Who was nominated!).
Of course names that could also be added to those that have been around for longer include: Wolf Alice, Temples, Royal Blood (I remember hearing so much about them in 2013, that its hard to think of them as a 2014 act, they were nominated at the Brits, and won best group), Childhood.
But my point isn't that the Brits are giving awards to people who already have an army of awards. I was at the Brit awards this year, I saw Kanye playing with fire, Madonna falling with stairs and Lip-Syncing everywhere.
I went because my sister needed someone to take. It was one of the most boring, and worse nights that I can remember. It was pure abysmal rubbish. One thing that I did find interesting was the woman who sat behind me, who I can only describe as the type of person who watches the television and starts screaming in bliss at adverts that she recognises the brand of. If she had heard of the artists name she would squeal, oink, and would promptly shatter my ear drums. 
The best example of this was whenRoyal Blood were announced as nominated for 'best British Group'. When Jimmy Page, to announce the nominees, came on stage, she promptly said "Who's he?". One of the greatest Rock writers of all time, one of the most influential musicians of all time, and one of the most virtuoso musicians of all time, got less recognition from the audience then Ella Henderson, a x-factor kid, who got lucky based on her gene pool, and pouted and complained loudly when she did not win a Brit.
Anyway, when Royal Blood were announced as a nomination, she said "I've never heard of them." But the moment they won and were coming on stage, she happily said "Oh they deserved it." Words can't describe the thoughts that went through my head. Every time that they appeared since then she used her lungs to applaud these people who she had never heard of before, but as soon as they won a pretty statue they were worth her attention.
The other thing about her was that every time Ed Sheeran won something, was mentioned, or performed she loudly exclaimed "Ed Sheeran Baby!" unintentionally giving the worst ever Austin Powers impression.
So here are a few artists who had at best a smattering of applause from the audience who desired far more. St Vincent: I can't recall anyone clapping, despite the fact that she was to me the 2nd best artist of 2014. The War On Drugs: The best artist of 2014, no clapping, a lot of "Who are they?". The Black Keys: No Clapping, at all, and they're pretty big! I mean First Aid Kit got more claps then the Black Keys, and they're endorsed by David Cameron. For the record I like First Aid Kit. Alt-J: No clapping again. Chvrches: Nilch. George Ezra: No clapping, until he performed and was mentioned, when suddenly everyone cared, just like Royal Blood. Jack White: No clapping. Beck: Barely anything, and when John Legend appeared moments after, the arena erupted.
I have 3 more points to make, so bear with me.
Firstly I'd like to point out that Sam Smith won breakthrough artist of the year, despite having won a Brit the year before, which kind of takes away from it.
Secondly, there were four girls, who were sat in front of me, who voiced very loudly when Russell Crowe took to the stage "Who's that fat c***?", which doesn't speak well for their taste. 
Thirdly, the Brits again created a new award, just to give something to One Direction.
With that I beg of you, never attend the Brits, not as long as you want to smile again.